The Grumpy Landlord
TGL Philosophy...
The difference between a beer and your opinion is that I asked for a beer.
Just a thought...
"Le Patron est de mauvaise humeur!"
...or...
The boss is in a bad mood!
A bloke walked into the pub...
So... this guy walks into the pub, nice guy, a regular who always, always drinks the Wolf Rock!
As I clocked him walking across the car park, and trying to give the perfect customer experience, I pulled a pint of his usual to have it waiting on the bar for when he arrived.
All good so far and we greet each other in the usual, suitably downbeat, manner. He then goes and asks for a pint of Dual Diamond!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's the last bloody time I try to be efficient!
TGL
The Good Old Days!
How many men...
...does it take to change a light bulb?
The way we were...
There are only ten times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use.
They are as follows:
10. "What the @#$% do you mean, we're sinking?"
-- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912
9. "What the @#$% was that?"
-- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
8. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"
--General Custer, 1877
7. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that."
-- Einstein, 1938
6. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"
-- Picasso, 1926
5. "How the @#$% did you work that out?"
-- Pythagoras, 126 BC
4. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?"
-- Michelangelo, 1566
3. "Where the @#$% are we?"
-- Amelia Earhart, 1937
2. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!"
-- Noah, 4314 BC
1. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"
-- Bill Clinton, 1998
P.C. Gone MAD!
Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority. So here goes....
An Englishman,
a Scotsman,
an Irishman,
a Welshman,
a Ghurkha,
a Latvian,
a Turk,
an Aussie,
Two Kiwis,
a Kenyan,
a German,
an American,
a South African,
a Cypriot,
an Egyptian,
a Japanese,
a Mexican,
a Spaniard,
a Somali,
a Russian,
a Pole,
a Lithuanian,
a Swede,
a Finn,
an Israeli,
a Dane,
a Romanian,
a Bulgarian,
a Serb,
a Swiss,
a Greek,
a Singaporean,
an Italian,
a Norwegian,
a Libyan,
a Muslim,
a Hindu,
a Buddhist,
and an Ethiopian
went to a night club......
The bouncer said, "Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai"
